Lonesome (Solely: Part 4)

(Finished November 16, 2019)

Take a glance beyond the windowpane

To remember that there’s a world outside of here

Still, it may be, like a portrait in a frame

Where the sun sets and rises, away I stay from there

And I hear their knocks on my door

But refuse to bring them into this bore

For here you can only talk to the dead

Or the quarreling voices in your head

So go ahead, I understand that this isn’t your place

Leave me here, against my bed I’ll forever brace

In hope of my daydreaming coming to an end

And being left alone by all of my imaginary friends

And I’ll keep on talking to the walls

Until they can no longer stand and decide to fall

Why is the window bringing in light so red?

Or is it just my puffy eyes that want me to see it as so?

And to think you’d one day ask why they look so sad instead

Don’t worry, I don’t blame you for not needing to know

I can no longer hear any ringing

And so I make sure that I can still hear myself breathing

But what if there comes a day when I can’t

How long will it take for them to find out

If this were to be my last note, they would not notice

And so freely I write down my pains as no one will read this

Don’t tell me that staying like this for just a few years is sane

I fear what the years have yet to bring me of pain

I cried to the walls thinking that I was going to go breathless

Of that day, I can tell no one, and there was no one to witness

I’ll just stay here, looking at the window, waiting for it to be blurred by the rain

So no more light can come in and no one can know that I stay here so lonesome

I wrote down the first few verses thinking that I can just leave this piece for a while as I get my worldly tasks done. However, that was not the case; the words just avalanched down from my heart to this note. Don’t worry, I’m fine. Just needed to get all of these bad emotions out so they wouldn’t grow even more. I never thought that this piece would come out this way, but so it did. For some reason, I was drawn to listening to this as I wrote this piece, so I’ll share this song with you to set the mood.