Letter To A Lover (Isolation: Part 5)

(Finished June 30, 2020)

Dear secret lover, I got your letter

In the mail, it was left there

For many days, I was left unaware

Dear secret lover, I never got back to you not because I didn’t care

But my heart had no words to match yours in its love for me

Oh, the ache of having love out of reach

Oh, the ache of not finding love no matter how much you search

It was a matter of days and I was supposed to fly away

And in those last days, you didn’t know what to say

So a letter you left, hiding behind your words

Is a wish to be with one, away, across the world

Well here I am, all alone, thinking of your melancholy

Being the one who never spoke their truth to whom they loved dearly

Oh wasn’t it just yesterday when I too had nothing to say

And so up until this day

I wonder what he would have said

If I had laid my heart out instead

Oh, what a pain one must carry in their chest

Oh, what a pain that can never be put to rest

As one has no company except this stern concrete

The blind memories of lost love are all that the mind can meet

As it dwells on the past, thinking of a future seemingly void

Of what the soul yearns for, of what the heart cannot avoid

I wonder if you too dwell on what could have been

And learned that the heart’s word can only be proceeded by amen

And I’m sorry if I ever made you think that I let you in

You know, sometimes, my smile is my only sin

In my letter to you, I wish you nothing but peace

And for the heart to let go of the unattainable with all ease

In isolation, I am left to be

Same as you, who knows when another heart will share its love with me

I wanted to write this for a long time, I was ready to do so. In fact, this piece was what inspired this whole project. But, I just couldn’t, I felt like I didn’t have the energy to write anything. I’ve been having quite a tough time in isolation recently, it’s made me feel a little down, but here I am, trying to get back in the loop of things.