Depression (Escapism: Part 2)

(Finished April 14, 2017)

Oh sky, take me with you

‘cause I’ll always be black and blue

And let my tears be Earth’s flowers’ dew

Throw me over the horizon

Show me the darkness of the sun

But just hide from me the demons that my soul summons

Hello, dear self

You seem to be quite sore

You seem to have a hard time taking your breath

You seem to be hollow, without a core

Give me a reason for the shy tears in your eyes

Your life is great, how aren’t you satisfied

But how can I ignore my soul’s thirst

To let my heart burst

From the cruel agony it feels

I try to say that it’s nothing, it’s all made up

But I find myself gasping, pleading to make it stop

My pain is real

My pain is internal

My pain is crumbling me to my utter kernel

Oh moon, why so soon

Show your light when it was once swoon?

why show something that really isn’t you?

Smile, don’t let them notice

Laugh, even if you’re not honest

Don’t let them see the darkness and dullness that is true

Hello, dear me

Look what your thoughts have accomplished

They’re shredding you silently

Leaving you perished, vanquished

The entity called “I”

It turned out to be a lie

It turned out to be a complete mess

Suppressed within a faking figure deeply depressed

Lingering upon its ribs

Is the burden of my torturing, cruel fibs

Are the letters of the lie “I’m fine, don’t worry about me”

Pounding in its chest

Are my stomping feet on a quest

To find a soul and heart fit to guide this self-harmed body

Oh sky, how greatly I want to be as far as you

I’ll always be internally wounded, black and blue

I lack the diction to precisely describe my condition

This is a lonely note from a victim of depression

These words aren’t nice, aren’t fancy, they’re not amusing to hear

I’m sorry that I ever shared them here

Why should one escape from pure solitude?

Why should one escape to where one’s not understood?