Deep Breath (Chronic: Part 5)

(Finished January 9, 2022)

Blood only goes red when it’s bled

And trees only give leaves to be shed

Only a fool holds on to what will be lost ahead

Foolish am I when I can’t get you out of my head

Memory takes me back running to where I came from

In a hurry, loss of temper and breath as I race the sun

Along with me, the clouds scurry amongst the sky in shyness from the sun and air

Kin they should be, and so I thought about myself amongst thee, but I am the son and heir

Of a solitude lingering within me

A misery that has no love for company

Chronic the pain of your memory can be against my will

And so it hides me from the sun, keeps me locked still

And yet on fear, I choke, for what if it is destiny

That I lose breath and have no one to hold it in for me

All from the ache that your last was amongst no one by your side

And so in this anguish, I hide and reside

Memory latches on to me as I run away from where I came from

In my attempt to escape the company of being so lonesome

And for the first time, there were only my eyes to capture the sun

And for the first time, I let nature sing its song to me and I listen

I took a deep breath in as if forever I could steal it from the world

And yet out it goes, as from its nature, it’s not to stay in my hold

And I cry as I can’t take the sky in my chest

Let its fresh air forever be my breath

In the panic, I cry to the world to let me inhale what can bring me to rest

Gasping for air as my exhale disappears into its thinness, as so did you from this earth

In my grief over life, I only take a deep breath to remind me

That it is what keeps us apart, and so I must set it free

I always wonder how it must have felt for you to be alone in your last moment. Rest in peace.
I always wonder if there will ever be a way to let go of the pain.